Marcus Aurelius, more formally known as, Caesar Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (26 April 121 – 17 March 180) was a Stoic philosopher, and Roman Emperor from 161 to his death in 180; born Marcus Annius Catilius Severus, at marriage he took the name Marcus Annius Verus. When named Emperor, he was given the name Marcus Aurelius Antoninus and afterwards became known as the last of the "Five Good Emperors".
Marcus Aurelius brought us an old proverb about revenge: Before setting out for a journey of revenge, dig two graves. Because revenge is so costly, because the pursuit of it often wears on the one who covets it.
Marcus’s advice is easier and truer: How much better it feels to let it go, to leave the wrongdoer to their wrongdoing. And from what we know, Marcus Aurelius lived this advice. What Marcus Aurelius was referring to, well before other scholars and experts were able to fit together the entire scope of what his words actually meant, the weight they carried, and how his behaviors led by example, especially in how we understand ourselves and how we treat others. Aurelius's words are as relevant in the modern era, than ever previously before.
In fact, Marcus Aurelius discovered that Avidius Cassius, one of his most trusted generals rebelled and declared himself emperor, and Marcus did not seek vengeance. Instead, Aurelius saw this as an opportunity to teach the Roman people and the Roman Senate about how to deal with civil strife in a compassionate, forgiving way and he did so using an emotion regulation strategy commonly found in the literature today, by using cognitive reappraisal, rather than suppression, to regulate his emotion effectively. Indeed, when assassins struck Cassius down, Marcus supposedly wept. This is very different than the idea of “Living well being the best revenge” — it’s not about showing someone up or rubbing your success in their face. “The best revenge is not to be like that.” — Marcus Aurelius believed that it's that the person who wronged you is not happy, is not enjoying their life. Do not become like them. Reward yourself by being the opposite of them.
“The best revenge is not to be like that.” — Marcus Aurelius
James J. Gross, PhD, during the mid-late 1990s (1995, 1996) was the first psychologist to closely examine emotion regulation, however Gross looked at the issue on emotion in a unique and scientifically sound manner and from the beginning was a proponent of understanding how, when, and by what means do we regulate our emotions, and simply put if the two major strategies for emotion regulation (i.e., cognitive reappraisal, suppression) led to a wide variety of variance between individuals utilizing Cognitive Reappriasal versus the strategy of Suppression. Well over 20 years later, we are just now understanding that to understand that it is emotion regulation that we must study, rather than the traditional method employed by psychiatry that only focused on individuals who suffered from 'emotional dysregulation'.
The capacity to control emotion is important for human adaptation. Questions about the neural bases of emotion regulation have recently taken on new import- ance, as functional imaging studies in humans have permitted direct investigation of control strategies that draw upon higher cognitive processes difficult to study in nonhumans. Such studies have examined (1) controlling attention to, and (2) cognitively changing the meaning of, emotionally evocative stimuli. These two forms of emotion regulation depend upon interactions between prefrontal and cingulate control systems and cortical and subcortical emotion-generative systems. Taken together, the results suggest a functional archi- tecture for the cognitive control of emotion that dove- tails with findings from other human and nonhuman research on emotion.
A Brief History of Psychological Research on Emotion Regulation
Study of the cognitive control of emotion has three major historical antecedents within psychology. The first antecedent is the psychodynamic study of defense, which was initiated by Freud a century ago. This line of work has examined the regulation of anxiety and other negative emotions using clinical descriptions and individual difference studies of so-called perceptual defenses against processing negatively arousing stimuli, and specific defenses such as repressive coping. The second antecedent is the stress and coping tradition that grew out of the psychodynamic approach in the 1960s. This line of work has focused on the management of situations that ‘tax or exceed the resources of the person,' and generated an early classic study of reappraisal showing that subjective and physiological responses decreased when a film of a potentially upsetting surgical procedure was viewed in analytical and detached terms. The third antecedent is the developmental study of self-regulation, which had its roots in the study of socioemotional development. This work showed that children could obtain a preferred but delayed reward by thinking about available treats in abstract ways (e.g. putting a mental ‘picture-frame’ around a cookie) that decreased their immediate impulse to eat them. Contemporary research builds on this foundation using both behavioral and neuroscience methods to describe when, how, and with what consequences individuals regulate their emotions.
In fact, Marcus Aurelius discovered that Avidius Cassius, one of his most trusted generals rebelled and declared himself emperor, and Marcus did not seek vengeance. Instead, Aurelius saw this as an opportunity to teach the Roman people and the Roman Senate about how to deal with civil strife in a compassionate, forgiving way and he did so using an emotion regulation strategy commonly found in the literature today, by using cognitive reappraisal, rather than suppression, to regulate his emotion effectively. Indeed, when assassins struck Cassius down, Marcus supposedly wept. This is very different than the idea of “Living well being the best revenge” — it’s not about showing someone up or rubbing your success in their face. “The best revenge is not to be like that.” — Marcus Aurelius believed that it's that the person who wronged you is not happy, is not enjoying their life. Do not become like them. Reward yourself by being the opposite of them.
“The best revenge is not to be like that.” — Marcus Aurelius
Kevin N. Ochsner, K.N., & Gross, J.J. (2005). The cognitive control of emotions. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 9(5), 242-249. doi:10.1016/j.tics.2005.03.010
About the Author
Matthew T. Wilson, PhD, has spent half of his life in Jacksonville, Alabama. He recently has moved back to the area, where he and his partner, Emma H. Wilson, PhD, are co-owners of Wilson Psychology Group, LLC. They have one son, Madison H. Wilson.
© Wilson Psychology Group, LLC
Wilson Psychology Group, LLC
M.T. Wilson, PhD
1115 Leighton Ave, 1a
Anniston, AL 36207